Balanced essay에 관하여

Many people believe that in order to have clean and tidy streets in their neighborhood, this should be the residents' responsibility, while others think that it should be the governments' duty. 

What is your opinion?

 

 ▶  여기에서 의견을 묻는다고 해도, 한쪽 의견만 들을 것이 아님. 양쪽 의견 개진 후 나의 의견 편 쪽을 마지막에 서술하면 돼.

 

Some people insist that it should be the people's duty to maintain the cleanliness of the community roads. However, others think that the government should be more obliged. I believe that both are responsible. 

 ▶ I believe that both are responsible. → In my opinion, both parties share equal responsibility, as collaborative efforts are essential to ensure clean and well-maintained neighborhoods. 

 ▶ Paraphrasing: 가장 중요한 단어를 맨 앞에 배치. people's duty, taxes..

responsibility	duty, be obliged,  responsible
believe	insist
streets in their neighborhood	community roads

 

 

Topic sentence

Clearly, the government plays a significant role in keeping the residential streets clean. 

This is primarily because taxes(가장 중요한 것을 맨 앞으로) paid by citizens are allocated to public services aimed at improving community well-being.

 

In more detail, taxes fund government projects for the residents such as cleaning and maintaining residential roads and other public places. (general한 내용으로 explanation하고) For example, officials could hire street cleaners to change resident's litter bins in the neighberhood and sweep the leaves in the park on a regular basis. (다음 실제 예시로 specific 하게 설명하기) As a result, tidiness can be conserved.

 

아니면, 예시를 두개를 두고  1. For example, 2. Moreover라고 하면 돼!

For instance, taxes fund projects such as hiring street cleaners to regularly replace waste bins and sweep public areas like parks and sidewalks. Moreover, government-led initiatives, such as city-wide cleaning campaigns or providing proper waste disposal facilities, can significantly reduce litter. As a result, the cleanliness and tidiness of public areas can be consistently maintained. 

 ▶ Balanced essay를 위해 중요한 것은 다른쪽 의견도 첫 body paragraph에서 몇줄 써줘야 함. 

community roads	residential roads
have clean streets	maintain the roads clean, tidiness can be conserved.
residents	citizens
fund	자금을 대다, 재정을 지원하다.
conserve	자원을 절약하며 유지하다, 상태나 품질을 유지하다.
change waste containers	replace litter bins
Primarily, it is because	This is primarily because
for	aimed at
waste disposal facilities	폐기물처리시설

 ▶ Add transitions!!! moreover, furthermore 등을 더 많이 사용하기. 

 ▶ Because residents live in the area, they naturally have a responsibiility to maintain its cleanliness.

 

Topic sentence

Despite the above-mentioned, (혹은 However, 처럼 의견을 아예 반대로 바꿔버리는 표현이 필요함. 여기서 On the other hand는 적절하지 않음. 그저 나열식 설명을 할 때에 쓰이기 때문) I believe that the residents are more in-charge in making the residential area and streets maintained.(내가 지지하는 의견을 나중 문단에 써야 함) Firstly, since it is their neighborhood, a place where they reside, it is natually their responsibility to take care of it.(1st argument 쓸때는 genenral 하게 써야 함. 니네가 사니까 니네가 신경쓰는게 당연하지!!) In more detail, they can do volunteering programs such as collecting garbage on the streets and holding campaigns that encourage people to avoid littering. (그 다음 예시는 specific 한 예시) Secondly, citizens' behavior directly affects the community's condition.(2nd argument는 사람들의 의식과 태도를 쓰고 싶으니 중요한 말이 주어로!) It means that the policies implemented by the government are not enough and ineffective if the people do not follow them. For example, if people have more awareness and concerns about their environment, even without environmental laws or policies, they can prevent pollution. 

 

 ▶ Despite the government's efforts, residents bear a more direct responsibility for maintaining their neighborhoods. Since they live in these areas, it is natural for them to take care of their surroudings. For example, residents can organize volunteer programs to pick up trash or conduct awareness campaigns to discourage littering. Furthermore, the behavior of citizens directly impacts the effectiveness of government policies. If residents fail to comply with regulations, even the best environmental laws become ineffective. For instance, when individuals show greater awareness of their environment, pollutino can be minimized even without strict enforcement of laws.

responsible for	be in-charge in
live	reside
throw trash	litter, collect garbage
policy는 implement해야 제맛..	길을 깨끗하게 ~ pollution까지 연결
endorse	support
opinion	view, assertion.
bear a more direct responsibility

 

 

Conclusion

In a nutshell, in order to make the neighborhood neat, resident’s responsibility is bigger than the governments'. Therefore, residents can take parts to maintain their town clean by participating non-profit volunteering activities with a sense of unity within the community.  

 

 ▶ In a nutshell, while both the government and residents have responsibilities in maintaining the cleanliness of neighborhoods, the role of residents is more significant. By actively participating in non-profit volunteering activities and fostering a sence of unity within the community, residents can take meaningful steps to keep their town clean and pleasant. 

responsibility	role is more significant
foster a sence of unity	단결감을 키우다. 공동체 의식을 함양하다.