[Writing #1] Information of Part 1 + 잘 쓰는 표현 + Chat-GPT 첨삭

• 실제 시험 : 60분 내 20분 활용
• 최소 150자 이상 서술
• 다양한 형태의 그래프 분석 - Report format
• 평가 기준
  1. Task response 
     1. 문제에서 요구하는 답변을 모두 했는가?
     2. 관련된 예시와 근거를 들어 논지를 충분히 설명했는가?
  2. Coherence and Cohesion
     1. 문장과 문장 / 문단과 문단 사이의 연결이 매끄러운지?
     2. 아이디어가 논리적으로 배치되었는가?
     3. 각문단의 개요를 잡았는가?
     4. 연결어구 사용
  3. Lexical Resource
     1. 문제의 주제와 관련된 어휘를 다양하게 사용했는지?
     2. 흔하지 않은 어휘와 연결 어구들을 잘 사용했는가?
     3. 품사, 어휘 선택, 스펠링의 실수가 없는가?
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy
     1. 문법적 실수가 있는가?
     2. 복합적인 문법을 구사할 수 있는가?
     3. 다양한 문법 (수동태, 관계대명사, 종속절 등)을 사용할 수 있는가?
• Writing task 1 그래프 유형
  • Line graph
  • Bar chart
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Map
  • Process
  • Multiple (Bar+Pie chart)

Writing에서 알아두면 좋은 표현 익히기

1) 상승을 나타내는 표현

increase - increased - increased / an increase

The figure for X increased.

X의 수치가 상승했다. 

There was an increase in the figure for X.

X수치에서 상승이 있었다.

rise - rose - risen / a rise

The figure for X rose.

X의 수치가 올랐다.

There was a rise in the figure for X.

X의 수치에서 상승이 있었다.

Climb - climbed - climbed / a climb

The figure for X climbed.

X의 수치가 올랐다.

There was a climb in the figure for X.

X의 수치에서 오름이 있었다.

 

Go up - went up - has gone up / a growth

The figure for X went up.

There was a growth in the figure for X.

 

1-1) 큰/급격한 상승을 나타내는 표현

Jump -Jumped -jumped / a jump

The figure for X jumped.

There was a jump in the figure for X.

escalate -escalated-escalated / an escalation

The figure for X escalated.

There was an escalation in the figure for X.

surge - surged - surged / a surge

The figure for X surged.

There was a surge in the figure for X.

 

soar - soared -soared / X

The figure for X soared.

 

peak - peaked - peaked / reached a peak (꼭대기)

The figure for X peaked.

The figure for X reached a peak.

 

2) 하락/ 감소를 나타내는 표현

Decreased -decreased -decreased / a decrease

The figure for X decreased.

There was a decrease in the figure for X.

drop - dropped - dropped / a drop

The figure for X dropped.

There was a drop in the figure for X.

fall - fell - fallen / a fall

The figure for X fell.

There was a fall in the figure for X.

dip - dipped - dipped (temporary: 아주 잠깐만 일시적으로 감소할 때는 dip표현 씀) / a dip

The figure for X dipped.

There was a dip in the figure for X.

reduce - reduced - reduced / a reduction

ㄴ reduce는 수치 자체가 주어라면 동사로 쓰기 힘들다. Sth reduce stress 감소 요인을 같이 설명해야 하는 동사이기 때문. 

ㄴ 그러나 명사 reduction은 그냥 '감소' 자체의 의미로 쓰이기 때문에 쓰기!

There was a reduction in the figure for X.

 

2-2) 큰/급격한 하락을 나타내는 표현

slump -slumped- slumped / a slump

The figure for X slumped.

There was a slump in the figure for X.

plummet -plummeted -plummeted / a plummet

The figure for X plummeted.

There was a plummet in the figure for X.

plunge -plunged -plunged / a plunge

The figure for X plunged.

There was a plunge in the figure for X.

 

3) 큰 변화/변동이 없을 때

level out-levelled out-levelled out / a levelling out

level이라는 단어 자체가 평탄해지다. 평평해지다. 라는 의미가 있다.

level out 이라고 하면 변동 후 안정화되다. 평형을 이루다 라는 뜻.

The figure for X levelled out for 2 years.

There was a levelling out in the figure for X.

no change (변동이 1도 없을 때)

The figure for X did not change for 2 years.

There was no change for 2 years.

stay constant = maintain the same level

The figure for X stayed constant for 2 years.

The figure for X maintained the same level for 2 years.

plateau (n/v) -plateaued - plateaued / reached a plateau.

고원을 의미하므로, 높은 곳에서 높은 상태를 유지해야 한다. 

The figure for X plateaued. 

The figure for X reached a plateau.

stagnate -stagnated -stagnated / stagnation

The figure for X stagnated.

There was a stagnation in the figure for X.

A stagnation was shown in the figure for X.

 

4) 변동이 잦고/ 많을 때

fluctuate -fluctuated -fluctuated / a fluctuation. --> 변동의 빈도와 폭이 클 때.

The figure for X fluctuated.

There was a fluctuation in the figure for X.

change much -changed much / a significant change  --> 변동이 한번 있더라도, 그 변동의 폭 자체가 클 때.

The figure for X changed much.

There was a significant change in the figure for X.

 

5) 변화의 정도를 나타내는 형용사 / 부사 = 일반적인 상승 및 하강에서만 쓰고, 큰 상승과 큰 하강에는 절대 쓰지 말 것. (강조가 중복 되므로)

일반적인 상승 = increase, rise, climb, go up / 일반적인 하강 = decrease, go down, drop, fall, dip, a reduction
큰 상승 = jump, escalate, surge, soar, peak / 큰 하강 =slump, plummet, plunge

 

dramatic 극적인 / dramatically 극적으로

There was a dramatic increase in the figure for X. = There was a jump in the figure for X.

The figure for X increased dramatically. = The figure for X jumped.

A dramatic increase was shown in the figure for X

A jump was shown in the figure for X.

sharp 날카로운 / sharply 날카롭게

There was a sharp rise in the figure for X. = There was an escalation in the figure for X.

The figure for X rose sharply = The figure for X escalated.

A sharp rise was shown in the figure for X. 

An escalation was shown in the figure for X.

considerable 고려할 만한 / considerably 고려할 만하게

There was a considerable climb in the figure for X. = There was a surge in the figure for X.

The figure for X climbed considerably = The figure for X surged.

A considerable climb was shown in the figure for X.

A surge was shown in the figure for X.

marked 특이한 / markly 특이하게

There was a marked growth in the figure for X. = There was a peak in the figure for X.

The figure for X went up markly = The figure for X reached a peak.

A marked growth was shown in the figure for X.

A peak was shown in the figure for X.

rapid 빠른 (속도) / rapidly 빠르게

There was a rapid increase in the figure for X. = There was a jump in the figure for X.

The figure for X increased rapidly.=The figure for X jumped.

A rapid increase was shown in the figure for X.

A jump was shown in the figure for X.

steep 급격한 / steeply 급격하게

There was a steep rise in the figure for X. = There was an escalation in the figure for X.

The figure for X rose steeply. = The figure for X escalated.

A steep rise was shown in the figure for X.

An escalation was shown in the figure for X.

Significant 인상적인 / significantly

There was a significant climb in the figure for X = There was a surge in the figure for X.

The figure for X climbed significantly. = The figure for X surged.

A significant was shown in the figure for X.

Slight 적은 / slightly 적은, 사소하게

There was a slight decrease in the figure for X. 

The figure for X decresed slightly.

A slight decrease was shown in the figure for X.

Mere 아주 적은 / merely 아주 적게

There was a mere drop in the figure for X.

The figure for X dropped merely.

A mere drop was shown in the figure for X.

Steady 꾸준한 / steadily 꾸준하게

There was a steady fall in the figure for X.

The figure for X fell steadily.

A steady fall was shown in the figure for X.

 

Gradual 점차적인 / Gradually 점차적으로

There was a gradual reduction in the figure for X.

The figure for X decreased gradully.

A gradual reduction was shown in the figure for X.

 

6) 기간을 나타내는 표현들

From A to B = between A and B

The figure for X increased from 2000 to 2010 

The figure for X increased between 2000 to 2010. between A to B는 기간에만 쓰입니다.

 

over a number-year period.

The figure for X increased over a 20-year period. 20년이라는 기간 동안 X 수치가 상승했다. (하이픈이 꼭 있어야 하고, year에 s가 붙어있으면 안됨. 형용사 취급하여 Period를 수식하기 때문!)

The figure for X fell over a 10-year period. 10년이라는 기간동안 X 수치가 감소했다. 

for the subsequent (=next, Following) years

For the subsequent 20 years, the figure for X increased gradually. 그 다음 20년 동안 X 수치는 점차적으로 증가했다.

over / for (number) years

Over 20 years, a gradual increase was shown in the figure for X.

 

7) 필수 전치사

with/ at

가장 높은 수치를 언급할 때는 with

전반적으로 수치 앞에서는 at

Numbers peaked at 1 million.

from~~to 변화를 묘사할 때. (between ~ and ~ 는 항상 기간에만 쓰임)

Between 2000 and 2010, quantities jumped from 1 to 100.

during : 하나의 기간을 얘기할 때

During the 1960's

During the time period from 2000 to 2010

동사 + by / 명사 + of : ~만큼 / 변화의 차이를 묘사할 때

Numbers increased from 1 to 6.

Numbers increased by 5.

There was a drop of 6 units.

In 특정한 년도, 달을 언급할 때

500 units were sold in December.

The number of accidents doubled in 2017.

On 요일 / at 시간

 

1) 누구의 수치? - The figure for X
2) 변화 - increased
3) 얼마만큼? - by 5
4) 언제? over 2 years.

 

8) 수/수치를 나타내는 구문 표현

The number of ~ (셀 수 있으면)

The number of people who lived in rented accommodations was 500.

 

The amount of ~ (셀 수 없으면)

The amount of time people spent on learning accounted for 500.

 

The figure for ~

The figure for Germany accounted for 50.

 

The percentage of ~

The percentage of fast-food consumption was 45%.

 

The proportion of ~

The proportion of university students accounted for 30% in the UK.

 

9) 비율 나올 때, ~을 차지한다, ~을 구성한다의 표현

account for

The figure for X accounted for 50%.

occupy

The figure for X occupied 50%.

stand at

The figure for X stood at 50% in 1999.

take up

The figure for X took up a half of total production.

constitute

The figure for X constituted 50%.

comprise

The figure for X comprised 50%.

 

 

10) writing task 1 format

introduction
Paraphrasing the Question (주어진 문제를 내가 쓴 것처럼 다시 기재)

Overview
전반적인 또는 가장 두드러지는 트렌드 (no number, no figure)

Detail 1
가장 두드러진 데이터의 디테일한 부분을 상세히 설명/분석

Detail 2
남은 부분들 중 설명이 필요한 파트 분석

 

 

 

---

실습해보기

ex) Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features

and make comparisons where relevant.

 

The graph was shown shows how much energy has been was produced among from the several main fuels in the UK between 1981 and 2000. The main fuels in this graph are Nnatural gas, Ppetroleum, and Ccoal.

The figure for Natural gas was stable between 1981 and 1990, but over the subsequent 10 years, it increased gradually.

Unlike Natural gas, which maintains a consistent upward trend, there was an fluctuation in the production of petroleum from 1981 to 2000. Specifically, The number of petroleum The production of petroleum rose significantly from 1981 to 1984, levelled out over the following 2two years, and then dipped considerably until 1990. There was a significant increase in the figure for petroleum afterwards and , followed by a plateau from 1996 to 2000.

Otherwise, In contrast, the number of Coal the amount of coal produced decreased markedly by more than 40 units from 1983 to 1984 and increased for the next 2two years. Nevertheless, it fell constantly until 2000.

Overall, coal production is was the least lowest among the main fuels in the UK on in 2000.

---

첨삭된 버전 (Chat-GPT)

The graph shows how much energy was produced from several main fuels in the UK between 1981 and 2000. The main fuels in this graph are natural gas, petroleum, and coal.

The figure for natural gas was stable between 1981 and 1990, but over the subsequent 10 years, it increased gradually.

Unlike natural gas, which maintains a consistent upward trend, there were fluctuations in the production of petroleum from 1981 to 2000. Specifically, the production of petroleum rose significantly from 1981 to 1984, leveled out over the following two years, and then dipped considerably until 1990. There was a significant increase in the production of petroleum afterwards, followed by a plateau from 1996 to 2000.

In contrast, the production of coal decreased markedly by more than 40 units from 1983 to 1984 and increased for the next two years. Nevertheless, it fell constantly until 2000.

Overall, coal production was the lowest among the main fuels in the UK in 2000.

---

첨삭 사항:

1. Introduction 개선:
   • "was shown how much energy has been produced"를 "shows how much energy was produced"로 수정하여 더 자연스럽고 명확하게 표현했습니다. [왜 was shown이 아니냐면 그래프는 지금 보여주는 거니까!! 왜 has been이 아니냐면 지금은 2024이고 현재 얘기가 아니니까!]
   • "The main fuels in this graph are Natural gas, Petroleum, and Coal."를 두 번째 문장으로 분리하여 서론을 더 명확하게 만들었습니다.
2. Second Paragraph 개선:
   • "gradully"를 "gradually"로 철자 오류 수정.
3. Third Paragraph 개선:
   • "there was an fluctuation"를 "there were fluctuations"로 수정하여 문법 오류를 수정했습니다.
   • "The number of petroleum"을 "the production of petroleum" or "amount of petroleum produced"으로 수정하여 더 정확한 표현으로 변경했습니다.
   • "an significant"을 "a significant"로 수정하여 문법 오류를 수정했습니다.
4. Fourth Paragraph 개선:
   • "Otherwise"를 "In contrast"로 변경하여 문맥을 더 명확하게 했습니다.
   • "the number of Coal"을 "the production of coal"로 수정하여 더 정확한 표현으로 변경했습니다.
   • "markly"를 "markedly"로 철자 오류 수정.
   • "more then"을 "more than"으로 철자 오류 수정.
   • "the next 2 years"을 "the next two years"로 변경하여 일관성을 유지했습니다.
5. Conclusion 개선:
   • "is the least among the main fuels in the UK on 2000."을 "was the lowest among the main fuels in the UK in 2000."으로 수정하여 더 자연스럽고 문법적으로 정확하게 표현했습니다.

"Followed by"는 어떤 일이 일어난 후에 다른 일이 일어났음을 나타내는 표현입니다. 이는 독자가 정보의 순서를 쉽게 이해할 수 있도록 도와줍니다.

원래 문장에서:

• "There was a significant increase in the figure for petroleum afterwards and a plateau from 1996 to 2000."

이 문장은 두 개의 사건을 연결하지만, 그 연결이 약간 모호할 수 있습니다. "afterwards"와 "and"를 사용하여 두 사건을 연결하는 대신, "followed by"를 사용하면 사건의 순서가 더 분명해집니다.

수정된 문장에서:

• "There was a significant increase in the production of petroleum afterwards, followed by a plateau from 1996 to 2000."

이렇게 하면 독자는 "significant increase"가 먼저 일어났고, 그 다음에 "a plateau"가 있었다는 것을 명확히 이해할 수 있습니다.

예시:

1. 원래 문장:
   • "The company saw a surge in profits in 2019 and a steady growth in 2020."
     • 이 문장은 두 사건을 나열하고 있지만, 각 사건이 어떤 순서로 일어났는지 분명하지 않을 수 있습니다.
2. "Followed by"를 사용한 문장:
   • "The company saw a surge in profits in 2019, followed by a steady growth in 2020."
     • 이 문장은 2019년의 "surge in profits" 이후에 2020년에 "steady growth"가 있었다는 순서를 분명히 합니다.

따라서 "followed by"를 사용하면 독자가 그래프의 데이터 변화의 순서를 더 잘 이해할 수 있게 됩니다.

Overall Feedback:

• Task Achievement (태스크 성취): 문제의 요구 사항을 충족하였으며, 그래프의 주요 특징을 잘 요약하였습니다.
• Coherence and Cohesion (일관성 및 응집성): 답변은 명확한 구조를 가지고 있으며, 각 연료 종류의 변화를 논리적으로 설명하고 있습니다.
• Lexical Resource (어휘 자원): 적절한 어휘를 사용하였으나, 일부 철자 및 문법 오류가 있었습니다.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (문법 범위 및 정확성): 대부분의 문장이 정확하게 작성되었으나, 몇 가지 문법 오류가 있었습니다.

전반적으로 좋은 답변이지만, 몇 가지 작은 오류들을 수정함으로써 더 완성도 높은 답변이 될 수 있습니다.

---

더 높은 점수를 받기 위해 Chat-GPT가 추천하는 답변

 

The graph illustrates the production levels of three main types of fuel in the UK from 1981 to 2000: natural gas, petroleum, and coal.

Initially, the production of natural gas remained stable between 1981 and 1990, after which it saw a gradual increase over the next decade.

In contrast, petroleum production experienced significant fluctuations throughout the period. It rose sharply from 1981 to 1984, stabilized over the following two years, and then declined substantially until 1990. Following this decline, there was a notable increase, and the production level plateaued from 1996 to 2000.

Meanwhile, coal production saw a marked decrease of more than 40 units from 1983 to 1984, followed by a slight increase over the next two years. However, it experienced a consistent downward trend until the end of the period.

Overall, by the year 2000, coal production was the lowest among the three main fuels in the UK.

This analysis highlights the varying trends in fuel production, with natural gas and petroleum showing an overall increase, albeit with different patterns, while coal consistently declined.

1. Task Achievement (태스크 성취)
   • 주요 특징들을 더 명확하고 상세하게 설명했습니다.
   • 추가 문장을 통해 분석의 깊이를 더했습니다.
2. Coherence and Cohesion (일관성 및 응집성)
   • 문단 구조를 명확하게 하고, 정보의 흐름을 자연스럽게 했습니다.
   • 연결어를 적절히 사용하여 문장 간의 논리적 연결성을 강화했습니다.
3. Lexical Resource (어휘 자원)
   • 더 다양한 어휘를 사용하여 표현의 정확성과 다양성을 높였습니다.
   • 예: "illustrates," "experienced significant fluctuations," "notable increase," "consistent downward trend."
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (문법 범위 및 정확성)
   • 복잡한 문장 구조를 사용하여 문법적 다양성을 보여주었습니다.
   • 예: "Following this decline, there was a notable increase, and the production level plateaued from 1996 to 2000."