IELTS/Writing

[Writing task 1] Table

선키 2024. 6. 15. 11:26
Table의 그래프 특징

Table은 말그대로 '표'입니다. 표에 있어서는 수치; Figure가 그대로 나옵니다. 그러므로 대략적으로 (approximately, roughly, around, about,  just above 등의 표현은 사용을 지양해야 합니다.

 

이때에도 큰 틀로, 시간 변화가 있는 테이블과, 시간 변화가 없는 테이블로 구분할 수 있겠습니다.

시간 변화가 있는 경우 ▶ 카테고리별 변화를 분석하고,

시간 변화가 없는 경우 ▶ 카테고리별 비교를 분석합니다.

 

 

 The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

                                         Underground Railways Systems

City
 
 Date opened Kilometres of route Passengers per year
(in millions)
London 1863 394 775
Paris 1900 199 1191
Tokyo 1927 155 1927
Washington DC 1976 126 144
Kyoto 1981   11   45
Los Angeles 2001   28   50

 

 

1. 언제 추출한 데이터다. 라는 말이 없다면! 현재 시제를 써야 합니다.

2. 이 모든 숫자를 다 얘기할 수 없으므로 묶을 수 있는 공통 요소를 찾아야 합니다.

3. 단위가 millions, 카테고리는 각각 3개, 7개 입니다. 

4. 연도가 하나만 주어져 있으므로 (Date opened)

▶ 카테고리 별로 가장 큰/작은 extreme 수치를 먼저 언급하고 나머지 것들을 묶어서 묘사해야 합니다.

    혹은 아예 다른 카테고리와 비교합니다.

▶Grouping 시, 카테고리로 큰 주제를 잡고 그 후 수치를 비교합니다.

  • Date opened은 가장 높은 런던, 가장 낮은 로스엔젤리스, 나머지 in 1900s로 묶습니다.
  • Kilometres of route에서 가장 높은 1-2등: 런던, 파리, 30 이하: 쿄토, 로스엔젤리스, 중간: 도쿄, 워싱턴 디씨를 묶습니다.
  • Passengers에서는 가장 높은 도쿄, 파리, 중간: 런던, 워싱턴, 가장 낮은: 교토, 로스엔젤리스로 묶습니다.

5. 자주 틀리는 부분:

775 millions people-> 수에는 s가 붙지 않습니다.

Pie chart, table chart에서는 그래프의 모양을 볼 수 없으므로 상승세, 하락세 표현 (trend)를 쓸 수 없습니다.

6. 구성방식 

 1) introduction

 2) Overview - illustrate the key features

 3) Detail 1 - categorise data - cities or categories

 4) Detail 2 - the rest of data analysis

 1) introduction

The given table illustrates provide information on the subway systems in six urban areas.

=The given table provide information on the subway systems in different urban areas; London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.

표는, 인트로 문장 동사를: give information about, provide information on 둘 중 하나를 쓰세요. 

regions=locations=areas=urban areas(cities)

 

ⓐ The given table illustrates how mobile phone owners used their mobile phone functions between three different years; 2006, 2008 and 2010.

ⓑ The given table illustrates how four group of people in England spent on four different items; Food, Electronic equipment, Music and Videos in 1998. 

 2) Overview - illustrate the key features: 수치를 언급하지 마세요.

Overall, it is clearly seen that London system is the oldest and the longest, while Tokyo subway system is used by the largest number of people. 

ⓐ Overall, people mostly used their mobile phones for making calls and many people use their phones for sending and receiving text messages over the given period. 

ⓑ Overall, relatively older people spent their income mostly on Food, while relatively younger people spent their income mostly on Music and videos.

 3) Detail 1 - categorise data - cities or categories (Date opened, Kilometeres of route)

In detail, London underground system started operating in 1863, the earliest in the given data, while the latest system that was introduced was in Los Angeles. The rest of the subways were opened in 1990s. Regarding of the length of the subway systems, London travels the longest route at 394km, which is followed by Paris subway at 199km. The length of Tokyo and Washington DC system are 155km and 126km, respectively, and those of Kyoto and Los Angeles are less than 30km.

 4) Detail 2 - the rest of data analysis (Passengers per year)

Turning to the number of passangers per year, Tokyo system has the largest number of passangers at 1927 million, which is followed by Paris system at 1191 million. The number of people taking the subway in London and Washington DC are 775 million and 114 million, respectively. Regarding of Kyoto and Los Angeles, the smallest number of people take Kyoto subway at 45million, which is followed by Los Angeles subway at 50 million.

 

ⓐ 시간의 흐름이 있다면 변화를 분석해야 하는데, 변화의 종류끼리 묶으면 돼. 가장 크거나 작은것만 보았을 때, 매년 제일 높았다. 매년 두번째로 높았다. 이런 것에 집중해! 그 대신 trend (증가추세, 감소추세)를 언급하면 안돼! 연속된 데이터가 아니기 때문이야.

3) Detail 1 - categorise data 
In detail, the most used fuction on mobile phones was making calls, accounting for 100% in 2006 and 2008, which decreased by 1 percentage point in 2010. At the begining of the given period, 66% of phone owners used their phone for taking photos, and rose by 10 percentage point in final year. Regarding sending and receiving text messages, 73% of people used this function in 2006, after which it climbed by 6 percentage point in 2010. 

4) Detail 2- categorise data 

Turning to playing games, it was not a popular function in 2006, occupying 17%, then people's usage of phone for this function steeped to 42 in the next two years, which then dropped by 1 percentage point in 2010. People did not search the internet and record video in 2006, after which the figure for using those functions were 41% and 9%, respectively. The percentage of searching the internet nd recording video took up 73% and 35%, respectively, in the final year.

In the case of playing music, it gradually increased, from 12% to 26% over the given period. 

 

ⓑ 

Detail 1

In detail, adults spent most of their salaries on Food; men spent 14% of their income and women spent 39% of theirs. Regarding of electronic equipment, expenditure on that was relatively higher for male, occupying 10% for men and 18% for boys, while female spent relatively lower; 1% for women and 5% for girls.

Detail 2

Turning of the music, children spent their money mostly on it irrespective of gender. Boys and girls spent 38% and 40% of their income respectively, while men and women spent 5% each on music. In terms of videos, younger people spent more then older people, comprising 18% for boys and 17% for girls.

 

The given table illustrates how four group of people in England spent on four different items, namely, Food, Electronic equipment, Music and Videos in 1998. 

→ how four group of people in the UK spent on four different items. = 돈을 어떻게 썼는지를 이야기하는 중. 

차라리 the proportion of 나 the percetage of 를 쓰기를!

→ in England와 In the UK는 아예 다른 말임. UK 안에 england가 있단 말이야~~

 

Overall, it is clearly seen that older people adults spent most of their income on Food, while younger people children spent most of their income on Music and videos.

→ adult와 older people은 패러프레이징이 될 수 없는 말임.왜냐면 이미 Men, Women, Boys, Girls 에서 패러프레이징 한 것이 adults이가 때문이야. 그냥 adults라고 해. 

 

In detail, adults spent their salaries on Food the most; men spent 14% of their salaries and women spent 39% of theirs. Regarding of electronic equipment, the proportion of expenditure was higher for males, with 10% for men and 18% for boys, compared to females, with 1% for women and 5% for girls.

→ expenditure 가 아니고 the proportion of expenditure!

→ compare to를 콤마로 뒤에 붙이고 싶으면 compared to 라고 해야지~~

 

Turning of the music, children spent their money mostly on it irrespective of gender. Boys and girls spent 38% and 40% of their income respectively, while men and women spent 5% of their money each on Music, each. In terms of videos, younger people spent more money than older people did, comprising 18% for boys and 17% for girls.

→ music 에는 the 가 붙지 않습니다. 왜냐하면 카테고리를 언급하기 위함이라서!

→ money를 앞줄에 썼으니까, 그 다음줄에 income을 쓰고 싶다면, 한 문장 안에서는 income을 똑같이 써야 해! 한 문장 안에서 그걸 또 패러프레이징 하려고 하지 마!

→ each는 문장 맨 마지막에 쓸 것. 

→ 한줄 안에서 콤마로 두문장을 이어붙인거라면, 앞뒤가 수미상관처럼 맞아야지. 어떤 분야는 말해주고, 어떤분야응 안말해주면 안돼. In terms of videos, children spend more money than adults did, comprising 18% for boys, 17% for girls, 2% for men and 0.5% for women.

Total: 162words

 

 

첨삭 된 수정본

The given table illustrates the percentage of income four group of people; men, women, boys and girls in the UK, spent on four different items, namely, Food, Electronic equipment, Music and Videos in 1998.

 

Overall, it is clearly seen that adults spent most of their money on Food, while children spent most of their money on Music and Videos.

 

In details, adults spent their salaries on Food the most; men spent 14% of their salaries and women spent 39% of theirs. Regarding of Electronic equipment, the proportion of expenditure was higher for males, with 10% for men and 18% for boys, compared to females, with 1% for women and 5% for girls.

 

Turning to music, children spent their money mostly on it irrespective of gender. Boys and girls spent 38% and 40% of their money, respectively, while men and women spent 5% of their money on Music, each. In terms of videos, children spent more budget than adults did, comprising 18% for boys, 17% for girls, 2% for men and 0.5% for women. 

 

Total: 173words